Writer Reset, Take 2! (Get ready, this is a long-ass update!)

 I have a draft post on here from September 2023! That just shows how well my Writer Reset went. lol

So yeah, this is actually my second attempt at resetting my Writer Reset! 🤣 Here goes!

Obviously, the first one fizzled out. I was going to try again in September, apparently, but seeing as I never went back and finished the post, let alone published it, I'd say that didn't happen. Oh well, it's okay. Either way, I came here to start over again anyway! So here I am!

In general, the same problem I was having before reared its ugly head again. No matter how much I tried to convince myself I was not going to ever publish again and my writing is now simply and purely for fun, there was still that little nagging voice in the back of my head going, "Well, you still need to do the writing! Why aren't you doing it? What happened to wanting to write so bad? Huh?"

Shut UP, stupid nagging voice! 😝

Anyway, I think I finally figured out what my problem was this whole time. To get to this conclusion, I reprinted the Writer Reset workbook (see previous post) and went thru it again. When I reached this prompt: I FIND IT HARD TO WRITE ON DAYS WHERE... My answer was along the lines of "I'm tired at the end of the day." That's when it hit me. I was trying to make myself write at the wrong times!

And why was that? Why was I trying to make myself write at that time...or at any time? Why was I trying to make myself stick to a schedule?!

It was that old feeling of "I have to write every day." Although I was outwardly saying I only wanted to write for fun from now on, deep inside, my brain was still stuck on the old default. It was a subconscious thing!

This got me thinking long and hard (haha) about how I could wipe my internal hard drive and update my system to the mindset I really want to have. Which is: Since I am no longer writing "professionally," I do not need to stick to a schedule. I do not have to develop a writing "habit." I don't track word counts for this same reason. Trying to track my writing in ANY capacity is where the pressure was coming from!

What really drove this point home for me was this: Last week, I had put a habit tracker in my planner for tracking my other habits, and I'd put writing on that list. I was putting a check mark when I did something and an X if I didn't do it. That entire week was all X's. The week before, only one check mark for the whole week. I realized--again--that habit tracking was actually DEmotivating me.

I say "again" because I just flipped back thru my planner to see how far back I'd been trying to track, and it turned out to be only those two weeks. On top of that, on January 18, I'd written this note under a "Letting Go This Week" sticker: "Habit tracking--it's not helping me!"

So why the hell did I start trying to habit-track again?! Ugh! Damn my ADHD brain!!!

The point is it's finally sinking in for me that HABIT TRACKING DOES NOT WORK FOR ME.  While most people might find habit tracking to be motivating, it has the opposite effect on me. Whenever I see a habit tracker, it puts pressure on me to fill up that tracker with check marks. It doesn't actually matter what the habit is. (Damn, no wonder I'm also not doing the dishes every day! Who'd a thunk it? 🤯)

What does this mean for my writing? Well, for one, I damn sure ain't trying to track it no mo! lol For two, from now on, I'm going to stop trying to make writing a habit because IT DOESN'T NEED TO BE ONE FOR ME. Other writers, sure! But other writers do want to publish their work. I don't. I just want to have fun with it. Period.

This also means I'm going to stop trying to make myself write when I don't have the energy left in me for it. If I do happen to catch a second wind in the evening, great! But if not...I have all day Saturday.

Which means Saturday is now officially my designated writing day. I can write anytime I want, but if I don't get to do it till Saturday, no more beating myself up about it! Because no one is standing there with a gun to my head saying I have to do it or else. And no one is going to judge me for only writing once a week--and if they do, that's on them. Not my problem.

On that draft post, I talked about wanting to blog about this video by Shaelin Writes. I went back and rewatched it, and now I remember why I wanted to blog about it. It's like she read my damn mind! She expresses the same exact thoughts and feelings I've been having all along. So please, PLEASE go watch this video! It's a perfect explanation of my own thought processes.

**I am so glad I decided to hop on here and blog today!!!**

Another part of this Writer Re-reset is my new writing notebook. Last Saturday, Jaime gave me an awesome TUL discbound notebook, along with a bunch of Happy Planner stuff. I set up four sections in the notebook: To Do, which is a bunch of to-do list and project planning pages; Writer Reset, where I put my re-done workbook; RTW, which stands for Refilling the Well, where I will throw in anything related to refilling my creative well; and Notes, which will be story notes and anything else I think needs to go there.

Ok, unlike that draft post, I'm actually going to publish this one! 🤣 Bye for now!